First Intro
I have this memory. I’m six years old. I’ve been home from school for a couple of hours at this point. Dinner is being cooked, the smell lingering down the hall. I’m in the corner of my room, playing with a toy castle, my action figures are neatly organized around it. Each toy has a name, a position, and a purpose. I’m preparing for battle as I place attackers around the outside of the castle that looms over them. They’re too small to conquer anything, but with my help, they’d be able to scale the walls and take back their land.
From time to time my mom would call down the hallway, realizing that it was unusual for a six year old to be so quiet. I couldn’t tell you what she said, partly because I was so entranced in my own world. The only thing to break my trance would be when Buddy notified the neighborhood that he was home. It was a warm howl that echoed throughout the house, one that would reverberate against your chest. He’d walk in the door clean shaven, rectangular glasses, always wearing a suit. After my mom and sister said hello to him, he’d come and look for me.
Second Intro
I dream of a man lying in a hammock. He has two sons and a daughter; I don’t know their names but the man watches them as he sways gently, back and forth, back and forth. There’s a summer breeze that flows by, the type that is neither cold nor warm. There’s a dog that sits right below one of the cedar trees that suspends the man in air. As the birds chirp in harmony, the dog cocks its head as if it was rejuvenated with youth. The man chuckles at this action, but doesn’t say a word. Instead, he pats his old companion on the head, smiling in melancholy. He knows it’ll be the dog’s last summer but somehow, he’s okay with that. He understands death. He doesn’t fear it, but he doesn’t welcome it either. He keeps death at an arm’s length. If he were to die, would he be okay with it? Sure. But does he want to die? No.
His wife comes out of the house and leisurely walks over to where he is lying. She lays down and cuddles into him; they don’t say a word. As they lay there, their eyes are closed and smiles can be seen on their faces. Happiness. Pure Bliss. It’s what all of us long for and this man has found it. Soon before long he takes out a notebook and begins writing. I don’t know what he writes, I can never see past that.
Third Intro
Okay, okay, I’m not going to lie to you. I snorted only a tiny bit. It’s what you have to do when you buy and sell stocks. It’s like a little pick me up. Here’s how it works: You come to me, I put your money into a fund, then we make money. But I told you that I’m not going to lie to you. This is only the half truth.
Before you come to me I snort a tiny bit. It gets me prepared to sell you a lie. I don’t feel bad because you chose me knowing that I could do this. If we don’t know each other, I tell you that I’m a reputable man, one who can accurately predict market trends and who can diversify your portfolio into trusted mutual funds that have outperformed the market in the past. If you’re a regular, I tell you that your portfolio is doing great. I tell you that we are making a shitload of money. I tell you that it’s a team effort. You give me your money, then I snort some more. We celebrate.
First Intro
I have this memory. I’m six years old. I’ve been home from school for a couple of hours at this point. Dinner is being cooked, the smell lingering down the hall. I’m in the corner of my room, playing with a toy castle, my action figures are neatly organized around it. Each toy has a name, a position, and a purpose. I’m preparing for battle as I place attackers around the outside of the castle that looms over them. They’re too small to conquer anything, but with my help, they’d be able to scale the walls and take back their land.
From time to time my mom would call down the hallway, realizing that it was unusual for a six year old to be so quiet. I couldn’t tell you what she said, partly because I was so entranced in my own world. The only thing to break my trance would be when Buddy notified the neighborhood that he was home. It was a warm howl that echoed throughout the house, one that would reverberate against your chest. He’d walk in the door clean shaven, rectangular glasses, always wearing a suit. After my mom and sister said hello to him, he’d come and look for me.
Second Intro
I dream of a man lying in a hammock. He has two sons and a daughter; I don’t know their names but the man watches them as he sways gently, back and forth, back and forth. There’s a summer breeze that flows by, the type that is neither cold nor warm. There’s a dog that sits right below one of the cedar trees that suspends the man in air. As the birds chirp in harmony, the dog cocks its head as if it was rejuvenated with youth. The man chuckles at this action, but doesn’t say a word. Instead, he pats his old companion on the head, smiling in melancholy. He knows it’ll be the dog’s last summer but somehow, he’s okay with that. He understands death. He doesn’t fear it, but he doesn’t welcome it either. He keeps death at an arm’s length. If he were to die, would he be okay with it? Sure. But does he want to die? No.
His wife comes out of the house and leisurely walks over to where he is lying. She lays down and cuddles into him; they don’t say a word. As they lay there, their eyes are closed and smiles can be seen on their faces. Happiness. Pure Bliss. It’s what all of us long for and this man has found it. Soon before long he takes out a notebook and begins writing. I don’t know what he writes, I can never see past that.
Third Intro
Okay, okay, I’m not going to lie to you. I snorted only a tiny bit. It’s what you have to do when you buy and sell stocks. It’s like a little pick me up. Here’s how it works: You come to me, I put your money into a fund, then we make money. But I told you that I’m not going to lie to you. This is only the half truth.
Before you come to me I snort a tiny bit. It gets me prepared to sell you a lie. I don’t feel bad because you chose me knowing that I could do this. If we don’t know each other, I tell you that I’m a reputable man, one who can accurately predict market trends and who can diversify your portfolio into trusted mutual funds that have outperformed the market in the past. If you’re a regular, I tell you that your portfolio is doing great. I tell you that we are making a shitload of money. I tell you that it’s a team effort. You give me your money, then I snort some more. We celebrate.